The following link => photographs of Kristie provides a chronological view of Kristie's life. You would think that after four decades of knowing Kristie and living with her for the last 39 years as her husband that I would be well acquainted with who she is and have some concept of her identity. There are events and concepts, however, that have caused me to look at Kristie and what has occurred in her life in a new light and wonder, "who is this woman?"
This new perception or viewpoint has to do with what is termed
"the mysteries of the kingdom".
I concur with Carlfred Broderick's assertion that, "I think we do
not understand the nature of ourselves.
I think we do not understand who we are.
Some people call the temple ordinances the 'mysteries' of the
kingdom. When I went to the temple, I
thought I was going to learn which star was Kolob, where the Ten Tribes were,
and other such information. But those
aren't the mysteries of the kingdom; the mysteries of the kingdom are who we
are, and who God is, and what our relationship to Him is. Those are the mysteries of the kingdom. You can tell somebody in plain English, but
they still don't know in their hearts who they really are."
So it is with Kristie.
My new perspective and respect for her are rooted in the unique LDS
tenets that - First, we all lived with a loving Heavenly Father as His spirit
children prior to this earth life; Second, we were each endowed with free will and
were empowered to use it in the preexistence realm; Third, God respects our
agency and does not work by force; Fourth, adversity is essential to our
eternal progression because without an opposition in all things, righteousness
cannot be brought to pass; and Fifth, marriage and family bonds can be eternal
and bring their greatest joy after this life.
These fundamental beliefs have caused me to wonder "who is this
woman to whom I am sealed; that in the preexistence she would willingly choose
or acquiesce to come to earth knowing that it was her mission to experience
sexual abuse as a child and now Alzheimer's - but bravely volunteering
nevertheless to endure such?"
President Joseph F. Smith stated, "He that sent His
Only Begotten Son into the world to accomplish the mission which He did, also
sent every soul within the sound of my voice, and indeed every man and woman in
the world, to accomplish a mission."
While I am aware of Kristie's shortcomings and realize that she was far
from perfect, it is being to dawn on me that perhaps I have greatly
under-estimated the woman who I married and the significance of her mission on
earth. She has been a remarkable example
of unconditional love and how to use humor to ease the troubles and burdens of
life. I marvel at how trusting she has
been of me as Alzheimer's has diminished her vitality and acumen. I only hope that I am as trusting of the Lord
and consider the effort to care for her more of an honor than a burden.
