The Long Goodbye

I consider Alzheimer's to be the long goodbye because it is a prolonged process whereby a loved one very slowly fades away; ultimately becoming merely a cipher or a shadow of his/her former self.  It seems that after going through many years of a very gradual but constant decline, loved ones would be prepared for almost any eventuality.  At least that is what I was feeling.  It wasn't like Kristie and I hadn't had plenty of time to take our leave of each other, and really - how much more can someone grieve after all; or so you would think.

I was, however, shocked and absolutely unprepared for Kristie's seizures two weeks ago.  I write this in the hope that it will help relieve some of the absolute helplessness and loss that overwhelmed me.  During the first seizure, Kristie fell backwards on a wood floor; fracturing both of her shoulders.  I will spare those reading this the gory details, but it wasn't a pretty sight as she struggled to breathe.  Three hours later she suffered a second and longer seizure while in the hospital emergency ward and was unconscious for 16 hours.

The good news is that she seems to be recovering quite well and while she has lost the ability to walk Kristie actually appears to be more sanguine and at peace with her situation.  This is in stark contrast to the constant anxiety that required her to pace almost constantly for the past 7 months.

I recently posted pictures of Kristie on my Facebook page because in situations like this, one returns to the feelings and memories of the forces that drew a couple together.  I hope in the next couple of weeks to recount the two different versions of how we met and married.  One version is of our arranged marriage and the other is a little known story of Kristie and I being attracted to Ann and Jim Little (who I need to clarify are brother and sister, and not husband and wife).