She Is Out of This World

I think we can all agree that good memories are better than bad ones, and life is more interesting when you have someone with whom you can create, celebrate, and reminisce with about cherished experiences.  It has been a long time since I have had a partner to mutually plan and pursue dreams. 

Last fall, I joined an online dating site for those affiliated with my religious faith - which is a bit intimidating and brings back some of the anxiety related to being a young single adult.  It is a very different experience, however, when you are a senior citizen getting acquainted remotely over the Internet.  Rather than being a competition where you are trying to impress someone, the focus is more about common beliefs, interests, goals, and maximizing happiness.

I feel very fortunate to have found someone through this cyber experience who shares so many of my values and ambitions.  Let me introduce Nancy Toth, who I would describe as “being out of this world”.  Considering Nancy is from Roswell, New Mexico, this is not such an “alien” idea.

I will admit that part of my motivation regarding courtship is the desire to serve a church mission.  It turns out that in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, for someone like me to go on a mission and be engaged in the Lord's work, they must first be engaged.  So, I proposed and Nancy has accepted.  Stay tuned if you want more information regarding this engaging adventure.

Good Time

Kristie and I had so many positive and enjoyable memories during the 5-years while getting and following her diagnosis of early-onset Alzheimer's that I refer to this period as "Good Time".  There was no question that Kristie's confidence and memory were failing, but she was still able to:

• Enjoy daytrips and visiting with friends.
• Help on projects as we worked to maintain and restore our historic home.
• Travel with family members to experience the world.

I think we can all agree that good memories are better than bad ones.  Hopefully, the pictures below help capture and convey how this was a positive time, filled with many wonderful and satisfying memories.

 

Edgemont 4th Ward Introduction

 

Link to a Bridge Magazine article about Alzheimer's in Michigan which begins and ends with the story of Kristie and me, including photos of us.

Reflections on Michigan While Moving to Utah

For the past nine years Michigan has been my home, and while this time has been marked by the devastating decline and death of my wife, yet I look back on my sojourn in Grand Rapids with more good memories than bad because of the remarkable people with who I have the privilege to become acquainted.  I respect and love dearly my friends in Grand Rapids who have blessed my life by their kindness, company, and good examples.

I am especially indebted & grateful to:

• My Younger-onset Alzheimer's Support Group members who understood and helped me deal with all the stress and concerns a caregiver has for a spouse with dementia.
• The wonderful staff at Azpira Place of Breton who looked after Kristie and helped relieve me of the stress of her ongoing 24-hour care.
• So many wonderful members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints with whom I had the opportunity to serve, and in return be served.  Their fellowship, examples, and charity provided me with a sense of belonging and purpose when I had no other family close by.

During 7-decades of mortality, I have been influenced and blessed by many remarkable individuals, and this is certainly the case while I have been Grand Rapids, Michigan. I appreciate their friendship and support even more because of my nightmare and loss due to Alzheimer's.

A Clear Perspective in Utah, and What Michigan has that Utah Doesn't

Michigan is beautiful, especially when the leaves change color in the fall as these photos demonstrate.  

And Michigan has something that Utah doesn't - at least I haven't seen it during the week that I have been here.  What is missing in Utah are these white, fluffy things that appear in the sky.  They are called clouds.  Utahans  claim they have clouds, but I have only seen sunny blue sky (as the photos clearly show below) and I will believe it when I actually see some clouds here.

  

But as you can also clearly see below, Utah has something that Michigan doesn't.  They are these huge, massive geological formations of rock that rise up out of the ground to tower over the valleys below.  In Utah they are called mountains.  

So I live on Timpview Drive, which is an abbreviation for Mt. Timpanogos view drive.  But it isn't like the road I live on is the only place to view this gigantic, magnificent peak which rises up 11,752 feet in elevation.  I think they should call the entire county and surrounding area for 50 miles Timpview.

So Why Move to Utah?

I love my friends and have many wonderful memories in Michigan.  So what prompted, or drew me to Utah?  It was because in this time of a pandemic, and heightened social and political unrest with all the isolation, stress, and turmoil - it appears that there are still some pockets of  joy, tranquility, and love to be found within the shadows of Mt. Timpanogos - as this photo of my daughter and three grandsons clearly shows.

  

2020 in the Upper Peninsula

I'm not certain which I enjoyed more - the incredible scenery or the company of 3 remarkable friends during a 3-day trip to the Upper Peninsula this fall.

We found out when we tried to board the Pictured Rock Boat Tour that the boat was full and I had mistakenly purchased tickets for the next day.  My mistake meant we missed the overcast and rough 5' waves that day, and got the sun and gentle 2' waves on Tuesday.  

We were really lucky we didn't take the boat tour on Wednesday when there were  terrible 7' waves predicted.  The Pictured Rock Boat Tour is definitely something to look forward to - when there is sunshine and gentile waves!  The incredible cliffs, colorful rock formations, and unique erosion from the constant waves is stunning.

And then there are numerous waterfalls in the Munising area:

 

And of course always magnificent Tahquamenon Falls:

 I'm not certain you can see the ear plugs my companions were all wearing by our third day.  The fact that I hadn't been around anybody during the six months of the pandemic and was constantly talking may have had something to do with their purchasing and putting in ear plugs.  

Thanks Graham, Bob, and Brent, for another wonderful trip to the Upper Peninsula.  You can take your ear plugs out now.

Me in 30 Seconds - How to introduce yourself and get others to help you find a job.

 

I created and posted the above presentation while facilitating a "How to Get a Better Job" Self-Reliance class to help those looking for a better job to put forth their best foot forward in promoting themselves.

Even Better Than I Imagined

So often in life we are disappointed because things fall apart or don’t turn out as we had hoped or planned.  Like everyone, I have had my share of setbacks and failures.  But occasionally it is the opposite, and I recognize how kind God has been because amazingly things have turned out even better than I imagined - like the following:

Fixing up and living in the historic Cusick House was even better than we imagined.

1. Last summer I returned to visit family in the Willamette Valley for the first time in 8 years.  I remember fondly our time there and wondered if I had made too much of the climate and scenery in western Oregon as being ideal.  I was astonished, however, to find the Willamette Valley was even better than I had imagined.  It was more scenic, diverse, and beautiful than I had made it out to be.  I even took pictures of the roads and never saw one pothole, which is unbelievable after living in Michigan.
2. My courtship and marriage to Kristie, and my welcome into the Neilson family was even better than I had imagined, as I have written about elsewhere.  What a wonderful realization, that the person I married turned out to be better than what I hope for!
3. We moved to western Oregon to make our fortune in June 1978, only to have our business venture fail, resulting in me scooping beans at a food processing plant to provide income.  There was no way to see that only 7 years later I would be asked to be a school district administrator, along with being a computer consultant, and having the opportunity of living in and fixing up a wonderful historic home.  What we eventually were able to enjoy in Albany was even more than anything we could anticipate or envision.
4. When the call came to serve in the Jefferson Branch in 1999, there was no way to anticipate all the remarkable developments and opportunities which would come to us and our extended family during our time there, such as – Bree’s mission and marriage, Bryn’s master’s degree and internship in Geneva, trips to Romania and Geneva/Spain, Marta and Lisa helping in the branch, fixing up the Cusick House, Aaron graduating from college, and seeing the Jefferson sacrament meeting attendance double – just to name some of the incredible and unexpected blessings.
5. While Kristie and I had a desire to own, fixup, and live in an old historic home, there is no way we could have imagined or conceived of anything close to what we were actually able to enjoy and participate in with the Cusick House – thanks in no small part to our daughters, sons-in-law, Kristie’s siblings and nephew.
6. While it may be premature or bad luck to take a victory lap in the early stage of marriages, Kristie and I feel blessed by who our daughters married for time and all eternity.  You try to imagine as they are growing up, and especially in their young adult years, who they will marry (or who will marry them), and how they will handle/resolve the unique challenges and setbacks they will encounter.  As Bryn and Bree’s parents, we could not be more pleased with our sons-in-law – they are even better than we imagined.

This life certainly isn’t all beer and skittles, but it can be very rewarding and refreshing to recognize that sometimes the results are even better than we imagined.