Mother's Day 2018

Photos for our daughters to remember Kristie:

Families Can Bless Eternally

I often get impressions and inspiration as I walk the two miles to, and then from, being with Kristie each morning and evening.  I was struck yesterday by President Henry B. Eyring's message in the last General Conference that, "Families are the basic organizational unit of the eternal realms, and so He [God] intends for them also to be the basic unit on earth. Though earthly families are far from perfect, they give God’s children the best chance to be welcomed to the world with the only love on earth that comes close to what we felt in heaven—parental love.  Families are also the best way to preserve and pass on moral virtues and true principles that are most likely to lead us back to God’s presence."

Having just spent a week with family in Utah (our daughter's family; my three sisters; many cousins, nieces, nephew, and their children; as well as two of Kristie's brothers, her niece and children) helped me see more clearly the importance and blessing of earthly families in my life.

It only seems like a few days ago that I was a child, feeding the bummer lambs (Hickory, Dickory, Doc, and Mousey) with my three sisters, and last Thursday we were together again (without the lambs) to perform family sealings in the Provo City Center Temple.  Being with my sisters seems to ground me and remind me of the home in which we were  raised and where there were family prayers each morning and night to recognize God, give thanks for blessings, and implore divine assistance.  It is no wonder that I feel there is a plan and purpose to our chaotic earthly experience.

I was impressed to find out that both my oldest cousin and his wife served missions and that he was a medic on the front lines during the Korean War.  I always saw him as the tall, quiet type; but came away after this visit much more impressed with what I learned about him and the wonderful spirit which was very evident in their home.

I also learned that a cousin's wife joined the church in the Northern States Mission while I was serving there.  I knew many of the missionaries who taught her; and the names of her family members were included as newly baptized members in my missionary newsletters.

Being with Kristie's two oldest brothers was an enjoyable reminder of the quirky Neilson sense of humor that always makes it so fun to be with her family, and was not wasted on my 4-year old grandson, as the video shows.  Click the full screen button in the bottom right corner after the video starts to get the full effect.

Being in our daughter's home was a significant reminder of the profound influence parents have to impact and bless their children.  Both of our daughters remind me of my own mother, and how I experienced heavenly love through her.  I am truly grateful for and blessed by my family - even eternally.

Remembering Kristie Neilson Goates

1950 - 2020

On the evening of April 8, 2020, Kristie Neilson Goates passed away in Kentwood, Michigan from Alzheimer's.  She was born on October 26, 1950 to George E. and Marjorie (Anderson) Neilson in Murray, Utah.  She grew up in Rupert, Idaho, graduating from Minico High School in June 1968, before attending Brigham Young University where she met her husband A.Wayne Goates.  

They were married for time and all eternity on June 1, 1973, and lived in Idaho, Oregon, and Michigan.  She is survived by her husband; mother; daughters- Bryn (Zachary) Grisham and Bree (Collin Bradford) Goates; brothers - Erik, Jon (Sherry), and Kjel (Kitti) Neilson; sisters - Karla (Nick) Boren, Lisa Neilson, and Marta Neilson; and four grand children.   

She blessed many lives with her enchanting smile and laugh. Alzheimer's qualified her to be among the very meek who will inherit the earth.  The following link provides a chronological view of Kristie's life.  The family would appreciate and welcome any comments or stories below which remember and honor her.

A Dominate Gene with Photos

I did not understand when I married Kristie the effects genetics would have on our marriage and family.  I was only slightly aware of the "Wheeler curse" which was how the Neilson's referred to the early-onset Alzheimer's gene which ran in the family and was inherited through the Wheeler ancestral line.  But they never talked about the dominate "rabbit ears" gene which also seems to be a part of their family makeup.  Those inheriting this gene have a tendency to bring humor into what would otherwise be normal, humdrum situations.  It manifests itself in unusual and bizarre ways, such as when photographs are taken and those afflicted with this gene feel compelled to insert "rabbit ears" behind those being photographed. Another manifestation was my father-in-law often gobbling like a turkey, particularly around small children.  This was a skill in which he seemed to take great pride and pleasure. 

There is no doubt that Kristie inherited this gene as the photos below will show.  There is also no doubt that this is a dominate and not a recessive gene.  This is very evident because while no one would ever be surprised by George Neilson's sense and use of slapstick humor, it is difficult if not impossible to imagine Marjorie Neilson gobbling as a turkey or holding up rabbit ears behind a good friend or family member being photographed.  

As further evidence indicating this is a dominate gene, I would submit the Goates family has a long, boring, and stodgy tradition of not doing such things.  My father's twin brother raised literally tens of thousands of turkeys, but I do not ever recall him or his children actually gobbling.  I really question whether any of my ancestors has ever done such a thing, or in fact even thought of doing something like this.  I would be absolutely amazed if someone could find a photo (or even a portrait, like say from the 14th or 15th century) of a Goates crowning someone with rabbit ears. 

As is the case with dominate genes, it has been passed on to our daughters which these photos clearly show, and evidently at least one of our son-in-laws has his own inherited problems in this regard.  Sadly, this gene can also spread like a bad case of the flu to some with weak immune systems who did not inherit it, which is the only explanation for the pictures which are included of me.  Of course I say all of this with a slight sense of humor because - well that is all I inherited was a very slight sense of humor.

All of this becomes more clear as I reflect on the influence this dominate Neilson gene has had on my life since marrying Kristie, and its marked absence with her decline.  Life certainly can be difficult and trying at times, and in the midst of our daily struggles there is something quite refreshing and powerful when someone can make us laugh and seemingly lighten the load we are carrying with a little humor.  These pictures are a reminder of how life can be more fun and interesting with someone having the "rabbit ear" gene.