Families Can Bless Eternally

I often get impressions and inspiration as I walk the two miles to, and then from, being with Kristie each morning and evening.  I was struck yesterday by President Henry B. Eyring's message in the last General Conference that, "Families are the basic organizational unit of the eternal realms, and so He [God] intends for them also to be the basic unit on earth. Though earthly families are far from perfect, they give God’s children the best chance to be welcomed to the world with the only love on earth that comes close to what we felt in heaven—parental love.  Families are also the best way to preserve and pass on moral virtues and true principles that are most likely to lead us back to God’s presence."

Having just spent a week with family in Utah (our daughter's family; my three sisters; many cousins, nieces, nephew, and their children; as well as two of Kristie's brothers, her niece and children) helped me see more clearly the importance and blessing of earthly families in my life.

It only seems like a few days ago that I was a child, feeding the bummer lambs (Hickory, Dickory, Doc, and Mousey) with my three sisters, and last Thursday we were together again (without the lambs) to perform family sealings in the Provo City Center Temple.  Being with my sisters seems to ground me and remind me of the home in which we were  raised and where there were family prayers each morning and night to recognize God, give thanks for blessings, and implore divine assistance.  It is no wonder that I feel there is a plan and purpose to our chaotic earthly experience.

I was impressed to find out that both my oldest cousin and his wife served missions and that he was a medic on the front lines during the Korean War.  I always saw him as the tall, quiet type; but came away after this visit much more impressed with what I learned about him and the wonderful spirit which was very evident in their home.

I also learned that a cousin's wife joined the church in the Northern States Mission while I was serving there.  I knew many of the missionaries who taught her; and the names of her family members were included as newly baptized members in my missionary newsletters.

Being with Kristie's two oldest brothers was an enjoyable reminder of the quirky Neilson sense of humor that always makes it so fun to be with her family, and was not wasted on my 4-year old grandson, as the video shows.  Click the full screen button in the bottom right corner after the video starts to get the full effect.

Being in our daughter's home was a significant reminder of the profound influence parents have to impact and bless their children.  Both of our daughters remind me of my own mother, and how I experienced heavenly love through her.  I am truly grateful for and blessed by my family - even eternally.

Remembering Kristie Neilson Goates

1950 - 2020

On the evening of April 8, 2020, Kristie Neilson Goates passed away in Kentwood, Michigan from Alzheimer's.  She was born on October 26, 1950 to George E. and Marjorie (Anderson) Neilson in Murray, Utah.  She grew up in Rupert, Idaho, graduating from Minico High School in June 1968, before attending Brigham Young University where she met her husband A.Wayne Goates.  

They were married for time and all eternity on June 1, 1973, and lived in Idaho, Oregon, and Michigan.  She is survived by her husband; mother; daughters- Bryn (Zachary) Grisham and Bree (Collin Bradford) Goates; brothers - Erik, Jon (Sherry), and Kjel (Kitti) Neilson; sisters - Karla (Nick) Boren, Lisa Neilson, and Marta Neilson; and four grand children.   

She blessed many lives with her enchanting smile and laugh. Alzheimer's qualified her to be among the very meek who will inherit the earth.  The following link provides a chronological view of Kristie's life.  The family would appreciate and welcome any comments or stories below which remember and honor her.

A Dominate Gene with Photos

I did not understand when I married Kristie the effects genetics would have on our marriage and family.  I was only slightly aware of the "Wheeler curse" which was how the Neilson's referred to the early-onset Alzheimer's gene which ran in the family and was inherited through the Wheeler ancestral line.  But they never talked about the dominate "rabbit ears" gene which also seems to be a part of their family makeup.  Those inheriting this gene have a tendency to bring humor into what would otherwise be normal, humdrum situations.  It manifests itself in unusual and bizarre ways, such as when photographs are taken and those afflicted with this gene feel compelled to insert "rabbit ears" behind those being photographed. Another manifestation was my father-in-law often gobbling like a turkey, particularly around small children.  This was a skill in which he seemed to take great pride and pleasure. 

There is no doubt that Kristie inherited this gene as the photos below will show.  There is also no doubt that this is a dominate and not a recessive gene.  This is very evident because while no one would ever be surprised by George Neilson's sense and use of slapstick humor, it is difficult if not impossible to imagine Marjorie Neilson gobbling as a turkey or holding up rabbit ears behind a good friend or family member being photographed.  

As further evidence indicating this is a dominate gene, I would submit the Goates family has a long, boring, and stodgy tradition of not doing such things.  My father's twin brother raised literally tens of thousands of turkeys, but I do not ever recall him or his children actually gobbling.  I really question whether any of my ancestors has ever done such a thing, or in fact even thought of doing something like this.  I would be absolutely amazed if someone could find a photo (or even a portrait, like say from the 14th or 15th century) of a Goates crowning someone with rabbit ears. 

As is the case with dominate genes, it has been passed on to our daughters which these photos clearly show, and evidently at least one of our son-in-laws has his own inherited problems in this regard.  Sadly, this gene can also spread like a bad case of the flu to some with weak immune systems who did not inherit it, which is the only explanation for the pictures which are included of me.  Of course I say all of this with a slight sense of humor because - well that is all I inherited was a very slight sense of humor.

All of this becomes more clear as I reflect on the influence this dominate Neilson gene has had on my life since marrying Kristie, and its marked absence with her decline.  Life certainly can be difficult and trying at times, and in the midst of our daily struggles there is something quite refreshing and powerful when someone can make us laugh and seemingly lighten the load we are carrying with a little humor.  These pictures are a reminder of how life can be more fun and interesting with someone having the "rabbit ear" gene.

Progress and the Lack Thereof

Fall scene from the road along Lake Superior in the UP

Colorful Fall

Fall has arrived again and is spectacular in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan as can be seen from the attached photo.

For 56 years of my life the fall season has meant the beginning and return to school.  There is something wonderful about the excitement of a new school year, fresh learning experiences, and brilliant autumn colors.

 Signs of Kindergarten

Stairs

Hall

Kitchen & Bree's Kitchen

This fall my grandson Felix began kindergarten.  He seems to enjoy it and in fact, wants to continue the experience at home.  After arriving home the first week, he immediately began making and posting signs around the house such as: Stairs, Hall, Front Door, etc.  This of course is extremely helpful and makes one wonder how did we ever get along for so long without these aids?

Bree's Chair

Wayne's Room

I am amazed at the progress and growth occurring in the lives of my grandsons.  Felix has only started kindergarten, but he is well beyond reading Dick and Jane books.  He has been moved up to read with the first grade students and I would not be surprised if he is one of their better readers. Fortunately he does not take after his grandfather Goates who wondered in the first grade what was the big deal and why were people so fixated on learning the ABC's - as if they had any importance.

Food for Thought

Theo has started eating solid food, but as this video indicates he has not been completely happy with some of the items on the menu.

Theo is definitely a chick magnet.  He usually is quite content, but as soon as someone pays any attention to him, he starts smiling and becomes more animated.  People at church or in the store are immediately drawn to this and want to pick him up.

 

Little or No Progress is Welcome

While progress can be a wonderful thing, I am happy to report that seemingly during the past year Kristie's Alzheimer's has not progressed.  She appears to have maintained her current level since being placed in assisted living last September.  This is in stark contrast to how quickly things were changing during the first year after moving to Michigan.  Of course, this will not always be the case, but it certainly is wonderful to continue enjoying her wonderful laugh and infectious smile.  The video shows her fooling around in the morning while waiting for breakfast by sticking out her tongue and winking at me.

 

Nice Fall Tan

Upper Tahquamenon Falls in Michigan's Upper Peninsula is a remarkable natural phenomena.  With a 48' drop it is not as high or spectacular as waterfalls in in the Cascades, but it certainly stands out with the beautiful fall colors and its vivid golden brown water.  It is 200' across and by volume of water is the second or third largest waterfall east of the Mississippi.  It certainly is well worth observing as shown in the two videos below, particularly when the leaves are changing.  The water is naturally golden brown from the tannins leached from the cedar swamps that the river drains.  Wood tannins from oak was used in the tanning of animal hides into leather; hence the word "tan" and "tanning" for the treatment of leather.  (From Wikipedia - Tannin)

 The trees in Michigan don't seem to tan very well in the fall.  They sunburn as this photo shows.

Superior Shipping

This is a view of Whitefish Bay on Lake Superior as referenced in the song "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald":
 Does any one know where the love of God goes
When the waves turn the minutes to hours?
The searchers all say they'd have made Whitefish Bay
If they'd put fifteen more miles behind her.



The locks at Sault Ste. Marie are quite impressive.  There is a 21 foot drop between Lake Superior and Lake Huron.  The first two photos show a freighter that is 740' long' being lowered in the locks.  It is amazing to see a ship drop or rise 21 feet as the locks release or fill with water.  The last three photos show a tug boat that literally disappeared from view as it dropped 21 feet in the locks before sailing on into Lake Huron.

The 740' long CSL Niagara at Lake Superior level

The CSL Niagara at Lake Huron level

Tug boat at Lake Superior level

Tug boat before disappearing at Lake Huron level

Heading out to Lake Huron